The love is real, and so are the fights.
Researchers have found that one of the best predictors of divorce is not whether a couple fights, but how they fight.
Fighting is a part of any relationship. All couples have ‘fought dirty’ at least once. We have.
Knowing how to fight fair can literally save a relationship.
Here are some of our “Fighting Fair Rules”:
- Attack the issue, not each other. No name calling. It’s too easy to say things that you can’t take back. The potential to cause serious damage here is enormous.
- Stay with the issue at hand. Don’t bring in irrelevant details just to prove your point. It’s the quickest way to send an argument off track.
- Don’t downplay the issue. For an issue to be an issue it only takes one of you to believe it is. You don’t need to agree, but you do need to listen. If an issue is ignored it won’t go away.
- Find the real emotion beneath the anger. Anger is a secondary emotion, it never exists on its own and always has another emotion beneath it.
- Don’t yell. Start yelling and before you know it, you’ll be arguing about arguing. If the argument is at yelling point, nobody is being heard because nobody is listening.
- If you’re wrong, apologize. Be humble. Be honest.
#freebie – Reminder to our spouses… we can’t read your mind. Please explain what you mean.
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