Look Closely

Nobody becomes an expert on their own. The most successful people and professionals will tell you of a few key people who guided, inspired, and showed them the way.

Marriage is not an native talent. Marriage is a learned skill that needs to be taught by those who have weathered the storms of life.

Since we have already convinced you for the need of marriage mentors here and here, let us give you a few qualities to look for when identifying your potential marriage mentors.

Look Closely

Your marriage mentors should be people with relationships that you aspire to have. You don’t want a person or couple mentoring you that is not capable of sustaining a healthy relationship.

In short, they have a marriage you respect.  It helps if they have a few wrinkles and some gray hair. Experience is key. It’s ok to judge the book by the cover in this case.

Wisdom

Your marriage mentors should give advice that is in the best interest of your marriage. They will not only encourage you and help you find solutions to your problems, but they will also tell you the truth and hold you accountable for your actions.

Vulnerable

They should hold nothing back in sharing their challenges and struggles in every area of their marriage. In their transparency, you’ll find hope knowing they made it through. They share their junk… all of it.

They have done what you want to do.

Some careers and situations have unique marital pressures.  You may need to look for a couple who have not only survived in your particular fishbowl, but thrived and found a life that has served them and their families well.

They live in your world.

They will be stronger mentors if they live in your neighborhood, and are part of your world. Mentoring is about relationships.

These are just a few of the top characteristics we look for in marriage mentors. Make sure to look close before asking a couple to be your mentors.

G&C